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Bidet AI — v5 Production Package

2026-05-17 · storyboard · VO script (your line edits applied) · Luma shot list

v4 floor is submitted to Kaggle (safe, editable until Mon 7:59 PM EDT). This is the polish. Updated with every edit you dictated — incl. killing the empty filler opener that wrongly crept back into Beat 7.

1 · Voiceover — performance script (read from this)

Genuine, not announcer. / = small breath · // = let it land · bold = lean on it. ≈ 2:45.

Beat 1 — the report-card wall (~12s)

low, honest, weary

Every few months / there's a piece of writing that wrecks me. //

Honest comments / about real students. / The most personal writing I do. //

Two in the morning. / Blank page. / And everything in my head / that just won't come out.

on-screen: Take a brain dump.

Beat 2 — the person (~16s)

warmer, eye contact

I'm Mark. // I'm a teacher/ and I'm not a coder. /

My brain runs a mile a minute. / Faster than I can type. / Faster than I can talk. /

I have ADD. / Getting what's in my head / out/ that's always been the hard part.

Beat 3 — the river (~20s)

pick up speed, let it tumble

So it comes out / like this. //

A flood. / A stream of consciousness. / Fragments. / Tangents. / Clichés and easy answers. / Never the thing I actually meant.

Beat 4 — the plop (~8s)

dry, small smile

So I built something / to deal with the mess.

Beat 5 — the fountain (~12s)

relief, the turn

You hit record / and you just talk. //

It doesn't summarize me. / It organizes what I actually said — / and provides the context — / so other people get it.

on-screen: We clean up your mess.

Beat 6 — the turn (~20s)

easy, this is how it works

I walk. / I talk. / Every tangent runs. //

It transcribes me as I go — / then restructures the whole thing. //

And it sounds like me / on a good day. / Finally saying it / the way I intended.

Beat 7 — IT RUNS (~22s)

slow down. quiet confidence. (no filler opener)

Three-year-old phone. / Airplane mode. / No internet. //

The speech model / and Gemma 4 / both run right here. //

Nothing is sent anywhere / on its own. / It leaves / only if I choose to share it. //

Comments about real students / remain private. / They never touch a server — / because there is no server.

on-screen: Airplane mode. On-device.

Beat 8 — the numbers (~15s)

let yourself be a little proud

Six hours / and all that anxiety / became about two and a half. / Tweaking and proofing. /

And for the first time — / I didn't hate it. //

The most genuine writing I've ever produced. // It was mine. / It was me.

Beat 9 — the fine-tune (~14s)

matter-of-fact, cool

And to make it more like me/ I tuned it / on my own words. / With Unsloth. /

Trained and validated / on months of brain-dumps. // It sounds like me.

Beat 10 — the widen (~15s)

open it up

I don't think I'm rare. //

Anyone whose brain moves faster than their hands / knows this. /

Stutter. / Repeat. / Big-um guy. / Um. / Doesn't matter — / cleans it up.

Beat 11 — close (~13s)

settle. warm. unhurried. land it soft

This is a tool I needed — / that I could build — / on a phone I already had. //

It helps me communicate. //

The words are always in my head. / On-device Gemma 4 / is what finally / let them out. //

And it can do the same / for anyone whose brain / moves faster than their hands. //

(soft) So take a brain dump. // Bidet AI / cleans up your mess.

2 · Storyboard (script ‖ picture)

#~TimePictureScript
10:00–12The report-card wall — blank page, blinking cursor, hunched silhouette [NEW/EXTEND]"Every few months there's a piece of writing that wrecks me. Honest comments about real students. The most personal writing I do. 2 a.m., blank page, everything in my head that just won't come out." — Take a brain dump.
20:12–28The person — Mark (puppet) on the sunny patio, to camera; dog calm at his feet [Luma]"I'm Mark. I'm a teacher, and I'm not a coder. My brain runs a mile a minute — faster than I can type or talk. I have ADD. Getting it out is the hard part."
30:28–48The river — stream-of-consciousness word-flood from his head [Luma HERO]"So it comes out like this — a flood, a stream of consciousness, fragments, tangents, clichés and easy answers. Never the thing I actually meant."
40:48–56The plop — brain drops in the toilet [Luma]"So I built something to deal with the mess."
50:56–1:08The fountain — brain lifts out clean, sparkle [Luma]"You hit record and you just talk. It doesn't summarize me. It organizes what I actually said, and provides the context, so other people get it." — We clean up your mess.
61:08–28The turn — walk-and-talk; transcript → clean text [Luma + screencap]"I walk, I talk, every tangent runs. It transcribes me as I go, then restructures the whole thing. And it sounds like me on a good day — finally saying it the way I intended."
71:28–50IT RUNS — real phone, Airplane Mode ON, Gemma running [REAL — captured ✓]"Three-year-old phone. Airplane mode. No internet. The speech model and Gemma 4 both run right here. Nothing is sent anywhere on its own — it leaves only if I choose to share it. Comments about real students remain private. They never touch a server, because there is no server." — Airplane mode. On-device.
81:50–2:05The numbers — 6:00 → 2:30 clock [motion graphic]"Six hours and all that anxiety became about two and a half — tweaking and proofing — and for the first time I didn't hate it. The most genuine writing I've ever produced. It was mine. It was me." — 6 hrs → 2.5 hrs
92:05–19The fine-tune — "tuned to my voice" motif [motion graphic]"And to make it more like me, I tuned it on my own words — with Unsloth. Trained and validated on months of brain-dumps. It sounds like me."
102:19–34The widen — everyday people, same puppet world, no classroom [Luma]"I don't think I'm rare. Anyone whose brain moves faster than their hands knows this. Stutter, repeat, big-um guy. Doesn't matter — cleans it up."
112:34–47Close — clean brain settles → Bidet AI logo [Luma + end card]"This is a tool I needed, that I could build on a phone I already had. It helps me communicate. The words are always in my head. On-device Gemma 4 is what finally let them out — and it can do the same for anyone whose brain moves faster than their hands. So take a brain dump. Bidet AI cleans up your mess."

3 · Luma shot list

16:9, 1080p. One world: dark navy, pink/cyan glow, the cover's toilet+brain motif (reports.thebarnetts.info/bidet_cover.png). Same puppet "Mark" + same seed across all his shots. Luma's job = 8 shots: S1, S2, S3, S4, S5, S6, S10, S11. S7 is real on-device footage (already captured). S8/S9 are motion graphics.

Order if tight: S3 → S2 → S5/S4 → S1 → S6 → S11/S10. Fresh on S3 & S2 is non-negotiable; rest can fall back to v4 footage. No panic — the floor is already submitted.